Pooh Propulsion

Our story begins when Lauren, was in the middle of feeding our precious babe around 4:30 am. She found herself laying in bed, content with life and its proceedings, as our child had been sleeping very nicely over the past 2 nights, in between the feedings every 3 hours. "Surely nothing can dampen this euphoric feeling," she thought. Alas, the sound of poo did just that. Not to worry!! Pampers have not yet failed her and surely they would withstand even the bravest attempt to fling fecal matter onto mother. She decided to burp our little Ava and wait a short while, to provide insurance that said bowel movement was complete and removal of poo was deemed safe. She put our little princess onto the changing pad on the floor and began removing her diaper some 20 minutes after the first tremors shook her lap. She had scarcely pulled away the diaper when the sound of an intense rushing wind through violently flapping bum cheeks filled the night air. In a panic, she tore at the soiled diaper in an attempt to use it as a shield from the flying crap shrapnel. Too slow. Yellow poop flew like wild shotgun pellets, which found their way onto her shirt, sweatpants, overhanging hair, and carpet slightly to her left and right 2-3 feet from the war cannon it burst from. Screams shook the night sky, as Jacob jumped from his bed, searching for his nunchuku to defend his family from whatever foe caused such a stir. The distraction was enough to delay Lauren's reflexes yet a second time, as the final wave of flying mustard projectiles found their way onto her betrayed arms and hands. Had it truly been war, Lauren would have been no more whole than a slice of swiss cheese in front of a mexican firing squad. Instead, she sat there...dejected, covered in pooh...looking at my precious little princess who, unbelievably, was not propelled into the closet by the sheer force of the wind's exit. The picture above is the discolored water the clothing has been soaking in. May we never be so vain as to underestimate the power of a well-fed baby again.

Brand New Ava Lianne

Coming in at 7lb 1oz, and 21 1/2 inches long, future champion of the universe....Ava Lianne Kay!
Ava was born on Monday, January 17. She has many faces, as you can see above. The top is her gas face, and the others are her 'parents can't stop kissing her' face. We love our little Ava!

Family Picture Time!

Farmer Jake's Pumpkin Patch

Trunk or Treat outfits!

Drive Home From New Mexico.

Beautiful Heber Skies

Pregnant Belly

Baby Girl due January 15!!!

The Smarter Mammal

Many people think that dogs are a smart animal...but they don't think they are that smart. They think that when they tear a pillow up after you have previously punished them, they didnt' know any better."Nay!!", I shout in complete disbelief. All the soothsayers whom say, "Leave the ignorant animals alone to theirpillow spoils shall be proven wrong with this story of tragedy. Last night I went outside to work out on The Bowflex. 2 things: 1). Yes, The Bowflex. If you work out for 7 minutes a day you get chizzled and all yourchest hair falls out. 2). Yes, it was 115 degrees outside. But I only had to be out there for 7 minutes. I now believethe sun actually scorches your chest hair off. Anyways, I tripled the required workout time to 21 minutes for reasons unknown. When I first exited the comfort of home, I placed my cell phone on her crate about 2 feet away from me. The entire time I was outside, our dog Shea watched me, walked around a little, played in the grass,etc. She did not show any sign of interest whatsoever in the cell phone I put on her crate. I finished my workout,now feeling like a concentration camp victim shoved into a hot box, and walked inside. I had not been inside morethan 30 seconds before I realized I had forgotten my phone outside. I walked outside and Lo, it was nowhere tobe found. "Hmmmm," thought I. "Either the heat has melted my phone, a midget gnome has stolen it (they can't betrusted), or Shea has it." What do you know? Shea sat there watching me, and walked around the yard, for over 20minutes and didn't so much as look at the phone while I worked out. She waited until I walked inside, and then immediately nabbed it and took it over to the corner of the yard on the opposite side of the house. Nice, I am dealing with a faster animal with sharper teeth...and it's smarter than me.

Operation

So the day of the operation came. The nurse that helped me with the pre-op stuff was super nice and lied on my weight a little to make me seem a little buffer than I am. Then the evil one came...the one that jabs you in the arm with a sharp piece of metal (I.V.). She started telling a story as she prepared to gouge me. When she finished she was all, "There, I told a story so you wouldn't think about the needle." When she left I leaned to Lauren and ask her what the story was about...cause I am older than 5 and my attention is not drawn away from an oncoming piercing object by a 2 minute story. I laid down and the anesthesiologist entered. He said, "Well Mr. Kay, I'm afraid I am going to have to remove those testicles." Me, "..........um, huh?..." Anesthesiologist, "Oh, I mean spectacles." We had a good laugh and he took my glasses off. Then he said to relax and I would start to drift off. Now, I am not sure what I actually said, but I do remember seeing the room and lights start getting all distorted, and from what I remember...yelling that "the room is spinning....and evrythng is gtting all wierrddd and funnny looookinnggg....". Everything after that is 3 second bits and pieces, which Lauren somehow caught on video using my cell phone. She said that when I got out and woke up a little, I asked her about 3 times, and asked a couple nurses, if I still had my man parts, apparently because of the anesthesiologist. She didn't get that, but had a good time with the videos anyways.

Operation

The day of goodness draws near. Monday I will enter a place filled with knives intended to cut human flesh...and I couldn't be happier! Finally, after nearly 2 years of living what I am sure the people in Hades will not even experience, I will have sinus surgery. In my last appointment with my doctor, I asked him what he will most likely remove from my clogged schnaz cavity. He looked at me thoughtfully, though surely shuttering inside, and said, "Well, I see lots of stuff. I'll probably cut away some tissue that has grown (a nice way of saying something living has attached itself to you and is feeding) and then I'll open up the actual passage and remove the congestion. This usually ranges from a clear like fluid, to green peanut butter." Ah, the horrid that engulfed my body as he finished that last sentence. "Could he possibly know..." I wondered, "about 11 year old scouts when we all snorted peanut butter on a dare for Billy's king size candybar??? Surely that error is not the cause of my current discomforted state." As I held back the dry heaves, a smile eventually crept over my face as I wondered of the stories he would surely tell his friends after dealing with my clogged sinuses. "You should have seen it Fred!! Whatever was up there was actually counter blocking, and trying to throw a right hook at my scalpal!" Wish me luck!!!

Catalina Island

Fun bike trip up to Botanical Gardens
Beautiful scenery
Jacob, was basically shaking. ha ha
Me not shaking.
He is not really happy, he scared.

MIRACLES

TODAY I WITNESSED A MIRACLE. I WORK IN A DOCTORS OFFICE WITH A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE, INCOME, AND LIFE STYLES. AND SOME HAVE LIFE A LITTLE EASIER THAN OTHERS AS YOU CAN EXPECT. BUT SOMETHING THAT YOU CANT EXPECT TOO OFTEN THESE DAYS IS A SIMPLE ACT OF KINDNESS.

JOHN CAME IN THIS MORNING NEEDING A PRE-PHYSICAL SO THAT HE COULD BE CLEARED TO HAVE SURGERY IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS. THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS THAT WHEN WE PULLED UP HIS ACCOUNT WITH US WE DISCOVERED THAT HE HAD A 100 DOLLAR BALANCE. THE GIRL NEXT TO ME WHO WAS CHECKING HIM EXPLAINED THAT WE COULD NOT SEE HIM WITH OUT HIS BALANCE BEING PAID.

HE THEN EXPLAINED THAT HE WAS ON SOCIAL SECURITY AND DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY US, BUT THAT HE COULD PAY US 5 DOLLARS A MONTH TO PAY THE DEBT. SHE SAID THAT THERE WAS NOTHING THAT WE COULD DO AND THAT THE ONLY WAY HE COULD BE SEEN WAS TO DO AS SHE ASKED PER HIS INSURANCE, AND PAY THE BALANCE. HE EXPLAINED PLAINLY THAT HE JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY. SO HE TURNED AROUND AND SAID THAT HE WOULD WAIT TO TALK TO THE DOCTOR ABOUT HIS SITUATION.

IN THE MEAN TIME ONE OF THE PATIENTS FROM THE LOBBY CAME UP TO THE DESK QUIETLY AND HANDED US A 100 DOLLAR BILL AND SAID THE DEBT FOR THE MAN WAS NOW PAID. SHE REPLIED AND SAID "YOU ARE AND GOOD CITIZEN SIR" AND ALL HE COULD SAY WAS: "NO IM JUST LUCKY". HE THEN TOOK HIS SEAT TO WAIT WITH HIS WIFE.

MOMENTS LATER JOHN CAME UP TO ME AND ASKED IF HE WOULD BE SEEN, AND I REPLIED: YES, A PATIENT IN LOBBY PAID YOUR BALANCE. HE BECAME VERY DISTROTT AND BEGAN TO WEAP. I PAT HIS BACK, AND THEN HE TURNED TO THE MAN AND THE MAN STOOD UP AND HELD HIM AS CRIED IN HIS SHOLDER. REPEATING, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

THIS WAS ONLY THE FIRST OF THE GREAT DEEDS THAT I WITNESSED THIS MORNING, BUT WAS THE START OF A CHAIN THAT LINKED ALL MORNING. FROM AS SMALL AS JUST OPENING THE DOOR FOR SOMEONE TO A LADY STANDING AND LETTING AN ELDERLY LADY TAKE HER SEAT. IT SEEMED TO BE ONE AFTER ANOTHER. LET US BE OUR OWN SAVIORS IN OUR OWN WAY FOR OTHERS, BECAUSE ONE SIMPLE ACT OF KINDNESS DOES MAKE A DIFERENCE AS YOU CAN SEE.